2017 Reading Challenge

Mary has read 0 books toward her goal of 24 books.

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joi, 5 noiembrie 2020

My lovely bed

 The bed I've made for myself keeps staring at me and I march to lay willingly in it.

Oh the bed that I've made,
I always do this to my being.

Giving my soul away, only for you to beat it,
and how hard you keep hitting,
but still, I keep breathing.

Yes, I'm still living for an on-going beating.

Oh, the bed that I've made,
you swallow me down into your darkness,
while he throws over me his madness
and yet, I find myself covering in them.

The warmth they always bring,
this is what draws me in.

For a while I forget about the feeling of emptiness inside me,
as I lay in the bed that I've made again, and again,
from my continuous sorrows.   

Islav & Petrovka

As I lay on my dying bed,
watching you mourn your friend,
all I can think about is,
how lucky he can be.

To have someone cry for you,
anyone at all.

I feel as a knife cuts through my body,
my shattered heart, dissembling itself.
I feel, just numb,
I feel your fingers on my face,
your warm fingers, which I won't hold again
your smile, which I won't stare at anymore
your love won't embrace me in the cold.
You're gone without me
and I can't seem weak
when they reach for me.

Chocolate curls along your back,
blood shot tears in your eyes,
roses sprinkled on your fingers
and a hole in the sky,
what a another beautiful day.

I never see you leave,
I never see you laugh
and once in a while you just sit on the tile,
blank stare,
trembling lips,
I wonder what is going on in your little head.

As I clean your bed and take your sheets,
all I can remember now is,
 the world you always promised for me.

I can feel them staring,
belittling me, feeling sorry for me,
but they will never understand the void from my head.
As well, as the one from this bed.

The emptiness which never seems to leave,
just takes a hold of me,
how can I be strong,
when all I wanted is now gone?

She left a while ago walking on her own feet,
and now I'm the one who's carrying her sheets.

How life turns us around.

duminică, 7 aprilie 2019

break it

"Put your walls down", he yelled.
"I can't", she whispered.

It took only three words, for him to take the hammer and break everything around him.
To eventually find her crying in a corner.

"I broke everything for you, why aren't you happy", he asked.
And as she cried for herself she said "A person who can't love itself is doomed to be unhappy, because how can you love someone else, if you can't raise to love yourself".

And as he sat beside her, he answered "By letting someone enter your life, you will give them the chance to show how much you can brighten their life. Because the one who doesn't love itself knows how that feels and tries their best to shield the others, so they will never know how that is".

duminică, 19 august 2018

A dream of something

In the garden by the roses,
I've been writing little proses,
And they all flow to end the same
With the lover in the blame.

Oh, the word lover,
It always seem to hover,
But it lingers through my fingers
And gives me splinters.

Yet still, I think of love
In a shape of a black dove,
Which lands in your heart,
Aiming in breaking me apart.

How can I feel so alone
When you're just reaching for my gown?
Studying the knife
Like it's meant to change my life.

Maybe it does look right
To just stab me in the night,
But why would you miss
When at stake there is a kiss?

Oh, a kiss,
Heaven's bliss.

Your desire,
My wildfire.

duminică, 28 ianuarie 2018

Me, me

I seek something that you will never understand.
And my feelings will always belong towards you.

Is it regret?
Of something that would've been.
It is pain?
From the things that you could've hidden from me
Is it stupidity?
That in anyway you would feel the same.
Or is it just me?
Wondering of some situations that never happened in the first place.

Yes, I think it's just me.

miercuri, 16 august 2017

Clueless or ruthless?

Constellations, constellations
Oh, how mighty you all are tonight,
With those marvelous stars of yours
From which, one sadly falls again.

I always wondered where they'd land,
Is there a special place for the broken?
Or we're feed with the idea that they need redemption.

We judge and think, without understanding,
 How awful we can be
When it's not our head on stake. 

miercuri, 1 martie 2017


oh, how these nightmares kill me,
all they do is take what's left of my sanity.

oh, how they destroy me,
the candles that I had on my nightstand,
it was always you who took them away.

oh, how terrifying it was to wake up in the darkness
with no one standing beside me.

oh, how betrayed I feel,
feelings stay and go like scents of blooms.

oh, how my heart shrinks itself,
everyday while I stare at my reflection
I see parts becoming you.

oh, how I cried when I realized,
that I am undoubtedly turning into you,
screams and lies and laughs
and anger and sadness and cries
are coming from me
out ,

you left a scar on me,
on my face,

oh, how I cry,
cry and cry.

but I don't want your manipulative sheer on myself.

oh, stop.

luni, 2 ianuarie 2017


Ard în locuri necunoscute
Nemărginitele erupții de stele din cer,
Și iese fum,
Și dens este acesta.

Aplecându-se înspre mine,
Se transformă neîncetat în tine,
 Cu disperare încercând să mă sufoce
Lăsându-mă însă doar fără voce.

Alerg din orice șoaptă
Pentru a scăpa de carnea arsă,
Mirosul mă urmărește în orice parte a zilei,
Dar mi-e greață când știu, că nu e datorită mie.

E mai bine fără...
... vernilul care lucea în sticla de la geam...
... ce s-a topit pe cântarul din bucătărie.

Ce pierdere.

Și fumul este dens,
Dens mai poate să fie acesta,
Nu mai taie nici cuțitul prin furtuna de văpaie
Ce s-a așternut înăuntrul rubinului din odaie.

luni, 19 septembrie 2016

La răgaz în 3

Mare rece, mare desarta
Ma arunci in intuneric dintr-o data,
Si degeaba incerc sa ma ridic
Cand in fata nu imi mai apare nimic.

Lumina alba, lumina neagra
Ma alungi si tu in orbire
Cand tot ce imi doream,
Era iubire.

Iarba verde, iarba inalta
Te-ai uscat in pamant ca niciodata
Mi-am pus sperante nemarginite in tine
Incat nici cerul nu le mai tine minte.

Iarba verde, iarba mica
Te-a prins marea intr-o clipita
Si degraba te-am alungat
Cand din nefericire am aflat.

Cerul canta, cerul zbiara

Sa va mai dau din nou o sansa;

Si desi ma simt coplesita,

Mai bine asa, decat parasita.

Intre cele doua universuri ma aflu
Iar supararii mele i se depune praful,
Mi-am promis ca nu mai plantez
Dar uite-ma aici cu prenadez.

vineri, 16 septembrie 2016

Albastru aici, albastru dincolo

Baiatule cu ochi albastri,
Ia-ma de mana si du-ma departe,
Fiindca in ochii tai ma pierd mereu
Si ma dezlipesc de ei cu greu.

...O infinitate de stele de mi-ai darui,
Si de-as vrea sa le ating
nu as putea,
Cand in maini se destrama fiecare...

Baiatule cu ochi senini,
In privirea ta se copleseste cerul
Distrugand incet tot felul.

 ...Departe esti cu mintea,
in timp ce trupul iti este aici
Si doare foarte tare,
Cand inimii nu-i dai ascultare...

Baiatule cu ochi albastri,
Tu mi-ai aratat ce inseamna sa calatoresti
Printre comete si asteroizi,
Fara a purta vreodata cuiva de griji.

Albastru, albastru, albastru...
...negru, negru, negru

Tu cel ce ai ochii de safir,
 de se va amesteca albastrul tau
cu negrul meu,
atunci imi voi sterge cu usurinta
fiecare praf de stea de pe obraz.

miercuri, 7 septembrie 2016

Pulberi suntem si vom fi

Daca m-as transforma intr-un pulbere de praf,
Ai fi in stare sa ma privesti?
Sa simti ceea ce simt eu
Si sa-mi soptesti pe rand, cuvinte parfumate

Parfumate cu praf.

Ai putea vreodata sa mi le spui?
Sa recunosti ca a fost ceva gresit inaintea noastra
Si sa plecam degraba in lumea ce ne-a parasit;
 Povestindu-mi in acelasi timp,
 cat de nepotriviti am fost in toti anii ce au trecut.

Te rog, spune-mi vorbe goale
Pe care le voi umple eu in cele din urma,
cu praf.

Fiindca in final,
Indiferent de schimbari si idealuri
Ce va ramane in urma noastra, 
Va fi mereu praful.

Pustiu este locul in care am fost odata,
pustiu vei fi mereu si tu.

joi, 3 martie 2016

From him to you

A hundread thoughts, are going through my mind
 As I catch a glimpse of your wedding dress,
It makes me realise, what a lucky man I am.

A hundread heartbeats, that I can't stop
Pulse as you reach for my hand,
Locking ourselves into one being.

A hundread sparkles,
Travel around our fingers
Making me say "I do" too soon,

You smile, and I want to say it again, again, again...

A hundread countries,
I would travel just to hear you say my name,
To touch your lips and kiss your nose.

To feel you beside me.

A hundread "I love you"s, will never be enough 
Because you warm my heart
Without saying a word.

A hundread forevers, will never be sufficient
Because I want to give you my heart, in each of them.

A hundread, a hundread, a hundread ... of words
That I will whisper in your ear,
While you wake up next to me.

RED heart

In the deadly night, 
I shall surrender...

But not before our final meeting

I want to see the sparkles in your eyes,
As I say my final vows.

Oh, you sweet fool,
I have loved you from the beginning of everything
But you chose to ignore this fact,
And now, while we stare at each other,
Silently awaiting for words to come out
I just feel the need to touch the roses on your cheeks,
To feel the only warmth you have to give...

Oh, what a fool I can also be
To fall in love with such a monster,
You make it look so strange and heavy
For fingers to just unite...

And after hundreds of days
You still won't believe that I love you deeply...

So, I am left with no other choice

I will hang my heart down our tree
For you to finally see,
What you have done to me.

But even then, you bastard
You won't be able to see it.

vineri, 29 ianuarie 2016


Oh, it depends how you look at it
If you can't see it like i do
Then please let it go
Before it gets worse...

Oh, the tears I cried 
While you went to destroy everything..

they mean nothing now.